its a bailey .. . madeleines



its a bailey ..  its a bailey .. using no traditional punctuation  madeleines

women usually raise their eyebrows  as only women can  when i say candidly that i have an affinity with women  but its true    of course it is considered a bastion of the ladies that they believe no man can ever really understand a woman    hence raised eyebrows   accompanied with a sympathetic but questioning  oh do you  really    woman scribbles note in mental journal  this one thinks he understands women  hmm    its like breasts    i understand all about those as well and their unconscous power over men    women  from adolescence must be fascinated to learn how these emerging mounds of flesh growing on the upper ventral that make certain movements more awkward  have a silent power over the male of the species    like a pair of magic wands you can wave from side to side and from time to time  to get you your own way  distract  or win an argument    i think  my mother  made me comfortable with breasts because she was so comfortable with hers    a few times I would burst into her bedroom without thinking  while she was dressing to ask her a question and saw them hanging there  two  beautiful  orbs of joy    she would immediately cover up but the relaxed way she would say  stephen you should knock  made me realise she did not really mind    i loved my mothers breasts    in truth i love  breasts in general    someone will say that sounds like perversion as they might if a woman stated publicly she loved all penises    i would say there is more than a subtle difference in that comparison as the breast is a universal symbol of good cheer and maternity    my relaxed acceptance and enjoyment of the female bosom meant that when accompanying my actor father backstage  at his rehearsals  as an under 10  i was unphased by the sight of many different sizes and persuasions of titty on show  some brassiered  some hanging free    actor ladies in those days were not inhibited at all    on reaching my teenage years my investigations continued on my girl friends  as i carried out detailed examinations to determine  variance in circumferance  width  shape  hang  buoyancy  solidity  bounce  pertness  softness  sensitivity  alongside valuable  studies on nipple shape and feel    the variance I found was particularly diverse in both colour and texture    in my later teens I learned more about the 7 recognised breast shapes while attending life classes at saint martins art school where we were encouraged to sketch all 7 naked female models within a 90 minute lesson    it was an evocative experience    marcel proust wrote his classic 7 volume discourse    in search of time    relating how childhood memories were evoked by the taste and smell of madeleine cakes    prousts concluding premise was  that certain things  like a familiar taste or smell can become sensory cues that trigger the human psyche  so that our memories are retrieved by intelligense    for myself I would interject  that a pair of breasts may well be another proust madeleine  to evoke mammories  sorry   memories of other women    past girlfriends and artist models included    they say you can tell a lot about a girl by her eyes  is that a euphemasim    the salt seller shape of a british madeleine has not escaped my recognition either    nor possibly recording artist madonna  when she was designing some of her pointy breast outfits    have I uncovered a new madeleine mammory theory I wonder    my mothers relaxed attitude to her body and body parts was compounded by the way she would confide in me personally after my father abandoned us    at 14 years of age I found myself acting as a surrogate husband in those usually male  no go zones  such as listening and understanding  i even proffered sensitive advise    i became her shoulder to cry on and began to learn at an early age some important things about a womans needs    my relationship with my mother was as pure as the driven snow    she discovered the sweetest way of teaching me the facts of life    one day she presented me with a story book which told of the problems a dog breader had in getting an alsatian to mount a yorkshire terrier    i suppose that could have damaged my view of sex for life  it didnt     another madeleine memory i have is triggered by those big fish-eyed fashion buttons    i had no sisters and was curious what lady bits looked like downstairs    so when a girl at primary school offered my friend a viewing in exchange for the two bob she owed him  i jumped at the chance of joining in the viewing    so behind the curzon cinema where i had seen my first film  dumbo  five years previously  i saw my first vulva    when barbara duffy lifted her dress and dropped her drawers to proudly show us her halfpenny    i thought it looked like one of those buttons on my mothers new home-knit fashion sweater    since then im afraid that idea has stuck    i often wonder where barbara duffy ended up and if the two bob she earned showing her fanny by the bike rack was the start of an exotic career    or maybe she became a seamstress sewing on buttons    of course my claimed affinity with women is not based purely on a few goodnight fumbles and a two bob striptease behind the curzon    firstly there was my mother and later a very real but platonic friendship with my sister in law    as i moved on in my relationships with women I found my interest in them  divided  between wanting to get my hands on their gazubas and becoming their bestie    i suppose my mum really had done a job on me    into my twenties I reconnected with a past girlfriend   she had had east west boobs I remember   she now had a little mixed race boy  they had been dumped by the father   i began a new and enjoyable friendship with elaine but was confused by my feelings for her    my mammory memories of her were not prompting me in that direction at all    i felt sorry for her in her situation and considered asking her to marry me    she sorted out my confusion by assuring me she valued me purely as a buddy  really appreciated my friendship and support and confessed she had been wondering if I was actually gay    it was a reasonable assumption and one several women have questioned since    it is well recognised that women often feel safer with and appreciate the company of gay guys    my continued excitement at the sight of a nice pair of bosoms and a happy heterosexual partnership of 45 years happily lays that particular question to rest  and yet it continues a reality that my affections can easily be divided between platonic and sexual  which must be confusing to women as it is  to be honest  for me    it is one marvellous development that such matters may now be discussed freely and openly and that our individual sexuality and preferances are now no longer taboo subjects   

                                   … its a Bailey .. .  27 November 2020 .. .  edenbraytoday


About edenbray

I am a writer ... a beat poet who began writing poetry way back in 1966 ... 'edenbray is born ugly, wet, covered in blood, mucous & bodily functions, the effluence of my short life' ... I recently published my 1st solo Anthology - the best of 60 years writing - previously I ran my own Art Supplies Store for 40 yrs before I became a full-time writer I am a Blogger who has posted 1,000 poems - available in 24 themed booklets ... please ask for details + leave a 'like' or a comment for my encouragement, thank you so much for listening - I truly value your opinion on my work ~ in fact I literally survive on your creative input ~ edenbray
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